Sunday, April 2, 2017

Living for tomorrow

                                  ...What if tomorrow never came,
                                                              What did you do today?  

There's two things involved in this; either I am indeed growing wiser or God's sincerely trying to tell me something. In the last two months I've had 2 conversations with different individuals that involved waiting to get 'there' to act. I call it living in the future and forgetting the now. If you know me, you know I have it all from timelines, to plans and the 1000 goals, but I am learning to appreciate the present. I must not be doing a good job if God is sending me reminders -_- like I'm trying lol but thank the heavens I'm #woke to seeing the reality of it. I firmly believe everything happens for a reason and I try to find that reasoning. Have you ever been thinking about something and then that week or month a stranger brings up that same topic? Or you read a quote that just resonated? Or a song you've been playing over and over just clicks?

I'm still a working progress, but I do this thing where say I have a new pair of shoes, in my mind if it's not Oprah's event I'm not wearing it to anything and as a result I have shoes I have never worn or others I've only worn once. I started to realize, the shoes they're making will only get better so what's the big deal? worse of all what if my tomorrow never came? then what? the shoe would have never been worn. Gbam! So I'm in that mix of learning (and epicly failing) doing things solo, making sure to create time for me and just learning to enjoy solitude. I'm a social typa girl so this ish is hard but necessary, so I'm working on it. All these people upping and going abroad by where do they do distribute that boldness at? I need some. Their experience, however, is what gets me. Every single person said they learnt more about themselves and just really let go and let God. No I'm not travelling by myself just yet let me learn to drive an hour away just by myself before I start crossing oceans. Baby steps!

It's a beautiful thing to want to get somewhere, matter of fact those are the friends I hold close because they are my constant reminder to keep dreaming big and keep the hustle alive but I'll also hate to be the one at the end of their "..I should have done this" conversation. In my most recent conversation, we were talking trips and my friend said she was saving Paris for a 'bae trip'. I laughed and said "what if bae comes in ten years you'll never go to Paris? Abeg jor You can cash me in Paris, how about dah?" LOL! I know a lot of you can relate to this but go to Paris and when bae comes along go to Paris AGAIN! or the islands or Turkey or Swiss but please don't hold back cause you're waiting for the future to show up. It's all in the planning you can make anything happen. We need to do better. I swear I'm old lol! My mentality now is as Nike rightly puts it, "just do it!".

I got hit with a bitter reality recently and it made me realize I need to appreciate life more, I need to live more because tomorrow is not guaranteed but today is within my power. Let go (abeg if you've mastered this one help a sister), forgive, say I love you, be kind and love yourself like no other. I tried this challenge that said text your friends and say "I'm proud of you".... If you know the responses I got from my friends LOL, I need to fire all their asses. Real talk! But we should be more appreciative of our support system (family and friends alike) it's so easy to overlook them because you tell yourself they'll always be there which is true but they need to feel that love.

Live everyday, make mistakes,learn and grow. Don't be 60 looking back wondering where life went and trust me it will go by. Stay present, stay woke and aim for the sky! If you just tried to find the balance in that, it's me and you both but we'll figure it out one day at a time.

                                                                 Peace&Love CeeTee
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