Thursday, August 23, 2018

Part 2: The wisdom of No

                              No is not rejection, It's redirection.

I used to feel a twinge when people told me NO or when I got rejected. I've come to learn that twinge is a normal sign that we're human. It sucks when things don't go how we imagine them. My last piece was on the power of positive thinking and if you recall I said getting rid of negativity does not equal immunity from disappointment and it shouldn't because most of life is getting back up after we've been knocked down. To cut it short, even with the most positive of mindsets, No's will come up, doors will be slammed and you may be overlooked. The No's do not mean you're not trying enough, it simply means God is leading you to the right door. Keep doing what you're doing.

No is the hardest word to hear, it's also the most necessary. I get it, you don't like the sound of 'NO', trust me neither do I but we have to live through it and most importantly move on! Think of it as a foot sprain, it hurts like hell, but you massage it, stretch it and eventually you can walk again with no pain. Same logic! Take that no, understand why you got it and then derive a new plan. Remember we're always changing the plan not the goal.

Speaking of goals, think of NO's as blessings. When a door gets shut we can stay mad looking at the same door and struggling to get into that closed door forgetting that when one door shuts...let me hear you say it.... two more open. Never give up on your dreams because a door shut. Matter of fact let it bang because the right one, THEE door will open for you. What is yours has your name all over it and no matter how saturated the market is, you will excel in it. NO's are essential in getting you to where you need to be. It is because of NO's that we find our strength. I know! The irony of life *rolls eyes*

Because this is life we're talking about, the one that is full of surprises and just so unexpected but yet full of sooo many blessings, miracles and the unforeseen, here's a quote by Sadhguru and it's a pretty good one. You gotta go through the pics first LOL.

Do not try to fix whatever comes in your life, fix yourself in such a way that whatever comes, You will be fine. 

No words have been truer. We can't fix the negatives in life, they happen. We can, however, control how we react to the negatives and that is the trajectory life will take for us. If you know how to do this, don't even bother reading Part 3 (yes there's a three LOL). This I believe is where we all should strive to be. Millenial translation: It rained, poured and flooded. Are you going to sit in the flood or you gonna mop? 

The bounce back from a NO is never easy. It shouldn't be. I'm currently bouncing back from one..and it stings cause I'm back to the drawing board. The key thing is to allow yourself to feel the pain, feel the hurt. Cry if you have to, I did. Let it out. Now regroup yourself and draw up a different plan. No one is going to live your life for you. People will sympathize but at the end of day the work has to be done by YOU. So take out the ice cream, eat the entire box of papa johns cheesy crust pizza and then get back to work. If we're being honest you don't have a choice.

Hold up! I focused so much on the receiving end I'm almost forgetting the giving end. In trying to be there for everyone and forgetting to be there for ourselves, we say yes to everything. It doesn't help to overkill yourself for the joy of others. You will be giving them the bare minimum and not the best that you can. Helping others and being in a position to help others is a blessing in itself but how are you going to bless others if you don't take time for yourself? I'll just leave this here, God helps those who help themselves. If you have eyes, read well!

RECAPS are always a great idea. So here goes;
  • NO's will come, learn from them
  • Allow yourself to feel the pain, only then will you find your strength.
  • If the door did not open then Sugar plum, that's not your door stop looking at it. Let it go! 
  • Cry if you must, but move on
  • Know when to say No

Life is short but it is the gift that keeps on giving. Embrace what comes at you but no matter what keep forging on. The only way out of anything is forward really so do that, move forward!  Say yes to NO (see what I did there ;) )

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6 comments on "Part 2: The wisdom of No"
  1. Another great piece. Sometimes "No" is the last thing you want to hear but accepting it and moving on is ideal

    1. And in those sometimes it could even be our biggest blessing! Thanks for reading Anceeee :)

  2. Lemme come and been telling this dude I'm saying Yes to his get?��


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